Thor, Four, or For
by PlainJane101
Summary: Just a little humor when Jane, Erik, and Darcy go to visit Thor in the hospital. A bit AU to what happened in the movie, but I had to write it.


Just a little spoof, one-shot kind of thing. A bit AU. I was thinking his name sounds an awful lot like 'Four' or 'For', so yeah. Enjoy!

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Jane didn't mean to hit him. Dust was flying and it was dark. She scolded herself for hanging out the window like a dog with her attention focused on the sky and not on the road, recording the phenomena.

The three drove him to the hospital after Darcy had tased him. They left and came back the next morning, arriving at the front desk.

"And his name?" The nurse asked as she looked up from her computer screen to the three.

"I believe his name was Thor?" Jane ended on a questioning note.

"No, I thought his name was Four as in the number four." Darcy said, leaning over the desk to peer at Jane past Erik.

"No. He said his name was Thor. T-H-O-R."

"I thought," Erik began. "I thought his name was For. F-O-R."

"Erik, when he told us his name he put his tongue between his teeth." Jane bit down on her tongue and said "Thor."

"No, it was Four."

"I really thought he said For as in a gift 'for' you."

"Thor."

"Four."

"For."

"I'm sure it was Thor."

"No, it was Four."

"I think it was For. The man was plastered-"

"Hammered." Darcy corrected.

"Hammered. He could have very well bit off the end of his tongue."

"Ugh, Erik, that's graphic!" Darcy whined her eyes shut tight as she swished her tongue about her mouth to assure herself she still had the whole piece of flesh.

"It was Thor." Jane turned to the nurse with a nod.

"For as in a gift 'for' you or a drink 'for' you."

"Erik, he wasn't drunk! Didn't you see the ground beneath him and hear what he was shouting?" Jane contended.

"I did. Sorry, but I really do think it was For."

"Four."

"Thor."

"Can you three make up your mind?! I don't have all day." The nurse leaned back in her swivel chair, her eyes wide and her lips pressed together with impatience. Jane caught her fingers flexing over the keyboard.

"His name's Thor." Jane confirmed.

"Well, if Gwyneth named her baby Apples, I guess I could see his name being Thor." Darcy's head bobbed to the side as she accepted defeat.

"Maybe he's Scandinavian." Erik spoke aloud to himself.

"T-H-O-R." The nurse said as she typed his name. "And your relationship to him?"

"Oh, I don't know him." Jane shifted on her feet and tapped the desk with anxiety in the pit of her stomach. Did they let strangers visit patients?

"She hit him with her car." Darcy announced.

"I grazed him. She tased him." Jane said quickly.

"Yes, I did." Darcy's eyes wandered up to the white tiled ceiling, accepting the second lose.

"Okay." The nurse clicked on her mouse. "He's in the Psychiatric Ward."

"What?!" Jane squeaked.

"I'm not surprised." Erik muttered.

"I heard that." Jane glared at Erik for what seemed the longest time until two security guards ran past them.

"What was that all about?" Darcy asked, leaning back on her heels to watch the two guards disappear past the corner.

"I don't know, but let's not stick around to find out." Erik gathered a reluctant Jane and a bewildered Darcy like a mother goose and ushered them out of the hospital and into the van. Jane took the wheel, Erik sat in the front seat and Darcy jumped in the back.

"Erik, did you not see the ground?" Jane asked as she grudgingly put the keys into the ignition.

"I did, but those security guards sprinting past us is enough for me. Let's go home." Erik sighed and turned his eyes to the window, looking at nothing in particular. Jane twisted the keys and the van's engine hummed to life, sending small tremors through the three.

She put the car into reverse and somehow got confused between the gas and the brake. She hit the gas and the three went speeding back out of their spot!

Darcy screamed as a blur wandered behind the car and his front collided with rear window. Jane caught herself in the moment and slammed on the brake, cursing silently as she ripped the keys out of the ignition.

"Who'd you hit now?!" Erik yelled. The three jumped out of the van and ran to help whomever they hit.

When Jane arrived at the man's side, she nearly tripped over her own feet as she skidded to a halt. It was the same blonde haired man she had hit only this time dressed in a hospital gown. He rolled onto his back once again, his blue eyes wandering from Jane to Darcy to Erik.

"I swear I didn't mean it!" Jane fell to her knees and grabbed his large bicep to help him to his feet.

"Jane, get away from him!" Erik demanded, but Jane ignored his pleas, helping Thor to his feet.

"Is there anything I could do for you to…make it up to you?" Jane asked. Thor shook his head, a cloud of dust rising from his hair. The dust drifted into Jane's agape mouth, causing her to choke and cough on it.

"Get me out of here." He said.

They did despite Erik's protests.


End file.
